


Rush

by heartsdesire456



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Past Character Death, Post episode 1x12, Revelations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-30 21:06:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6440725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Camille opens a door Magnus never wanted to open to Alec, Magnus and Alec, who are still working out exactly what is going on, are forced to talk about some very heavy subjects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rush

**Author's Note:**

> This was never meant to happen. I tried to start a saphael fic and within like a sentence it went wrong. But shhhh. Just take it. lol

Simon looked from Raphael to Magnus and then back to Clary and the other Shadowhunters. 

“Camille as in… _Camille_?” he asked. He gestured to himself. “As in sexual harassment brain roofie Camille?”

Magnus harrumphed. “That definitely sounds like her,” he said, and Raphael rolled his eyes.

“Unlike the fledgling, you cannot claim the same spell, Magnus,” he reminded him and Magnus huffed, tossing his hair as he grabbed up another book off the table, going around to the couch where Clary sat.

Isabelle raised an eyebrow. “Really? Camille?” she asked, and Magnus gave her a dramatic cringe. 

“Darling, you think a Seelie can twist your mind, you cannot even imagine a vampire’s ability,” he said, twirling around after dropping the book in Clary’s lap to go grab a metal dish from one of his shelves. Simon cleared his throat pointedly and Magnus turned around, pointing at him. “You most of all, Solomon, because you went from geeky little Mundane to gorgeous overnight – literally – and that’s just not fair,” he said, winking before grabbing the dish and returning to Clary’s side. “Here, Biscuit, we need something to collect the blood in.”

Jace’s brow furrowed. “Blood? We’re trying to coerce a crazy bitch vampire into helping us by feeding her?”

Raphael scoffed. “We could always just give you to her. She is not as picky with her playthings as Magnus,” he said and Magnus turned around, hands on his hips as he glared.

“I’m not picky-“

“You have never so much as looked twice at a fair-haired person. You and your black hair-“

“Can we please focus on doing our job?” Alec suggested, speaking up for the first time in a while. He nodded to the dish. “I assume you’re planning to give her human blood in exchange. Which I’m pretty firmly against, by the way,” he pointed out and Magnus actually hesitated, blushing slightly as he avoided Alec’s eyes.

“Um, actually the plan was, uh, my blood.” He flapped a hand, busying himself with moving around the room to get more things. “She always had a thing for warlock blood. Gets her high, I think. Not quite like the cocaine-addicts blood, but high all the same.”

Izzy snorted. “Be honest, it was a weird sex thing, wasn’t it? Are you sure you should be letting an ex drink your blood on a mission to help the family of your new boyfriend?” she teased.

Magnus came back with a knife and a few totems and sat them on the table in front of Clary before standing up, hands on his hips as he looked down at Isabelle. “I’m sure your brother almost certainly thinks I’m a total slut anyways, by now, so it’s not like he’ll choose the one time we get a leg up in the fight against Valentine to get jealous.”

“Hey,” Alec said, frowning. “I don’t think you’re a- that,” he floundered. “I would never call anybody that. There’s nothing wrong with it. Why would you think I think that?” he asked and Magnus rolled his eyes, already rolling up his sleeves as he knelt down in front of the coffee table.

“Because I have an ex who liked drinking my blood, maybe?” he muttered. 

Isabelle grinned deviously. “Alec hates that word. He’s very defensive of people’s freedom to sleep with whoever they want.”

Simon snickered. “Pretty open-minded for a virgin,” he muttered under his breath to Clary, earning a giggle before she could slap a hand over her mouth. 

Isabelle smacked Simon. “Stop that. ‘Whoever they want’ includes ‘nobody’.”

Alec rolled his eyes, looking unashamed in spite of the pinkness in his cheeks. “I _just_ stopped pretending to myself I’m not gay, do you really think sneaking around and experimenting was ever in the cards for me?” he asked and Simon’s face fell some.

“Aw man, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t joke-“

“Yes, yes, we’re all sorry, Samuel,” Magnus interrupted, holding up the knife as he turned around and sat on the couch between Simon and Clary, shoving them aside. “I’ll turn your hair pink later for upsetting my Alexander, but for now, I need a favor.” He looked at Simon, then nodded towards Raphael. “Don’t sit so close to me while I do this.”

Simon looked at his wrist and then made a face. “Ew, I’m good, thanks. Warlock blood. Gross.” He stood up and walked over to Raphael. “Camille is scary enough, I don’t know why I’m surprised she likes warlock blood.”

Alec looked at Magnus rolling up his sleeve worriedly. “Magnus, are you sure that’s-“ Magnus, without warning, sliced sharply across his bare forearm. “Magnus!” he shouted in alarm, and even Clary made an abortive jerk towards Magnus, who was very calm for someone whose arm was gushing blood into a metal dish.

“Relax, my dear Nephilim,” he said, grimacing. “I’ve had a lot worse than a cut, believe me.”

“It still has to hurt,” Clary said and Alec looked green as he watched more and more blood pouring out of Magnus’s arm. 

“Magnus, that has to be enough, you’re going to weaken yourself too much,” he said and Magnus turned a little smile his way.

“Don’t worry, I’m going to be okay,” he said, and then, as the dish filled, he put down the knife and did something with blue sparks that made the cut on his arm seal right before their eyes, leaving only a faintly pink line on his arm. He wiped off the last remaining drips of blood and then held out his arm, looking up at Alec. “See? All better. No worries.”

Alec reached out and touched the pink line, still looking at him dubiously. Isabelle giggled. “You messed up getting that one attached to you, Magnus. Alexander is a real mother-hen.”

“Isabelle,” Alec said flatly and Magnus just turned to wink at her before he stood up.

“Don’t worry, Alexander, I appreciate the concern,” he said, laying his hand on Alec’s arm reassuringly on his way around him. “Alright, let’s do this,” he said, and Raphael came to stand beside him as he opened a portal against the wall. 

Raphael nodded. “I’ll be right back.” He glanced over at Simon then back to Magnus. “Watch my fledgling. Seems every time I turn my back he’s in trouble.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “ _Your_ fledgling?” he muttered in a teasing tone. However, Raphael disappeared through the portal without a reply. He turned around and held up his hands. “Drink while we wait?” he asked, raising his hand to snap his fingers, only to stop when Alec gave him a pointed look. “Oh what?” he asked and Alec raised an eyebrow making Magnus pout dramatically. “You’re no fun, Alexander.”

“And drinking while in the middle of a serious mission is fun,” he said with a smile sneaking past his defenses, making Magnus wink at him.

“What’s more fun than the added risk of drunk magic?” The portal behind him activated again and he turned just in time to step back as Raphael came through and shoved Camille, still bound in chains, so that she fell to the floor with a thump. Magnus looked down at her and hummed. “Well this brings back memories.”

Camille looked up and smirked. “Well Magnus! Hello, Darling, long time no see.”

Magnus gave the fakest looking smile he could muster. “Wish it had been longer,” he said, then gestured for Raphael to pick her up. They had set up a chair away from everybody else’s reach and when she was sat in it, she looked around, smirking an awful lot for someone in chains.

When her eyes landed on Simon, she smirked. “My dear little fledgling, you turned out pretty.”

“Enough,” Raphael said, cutting her off by stepping in front of her to block Simon and the others on the couch from her view. “You will answer Magnus’s questions and then you’re going back.”

She scoffed. “Oh? You expect me to cooperate without any sort of chance of getting the hell out of that coffin?”

Magnus gestured to the dish on the table. “You get a dish of my blood. Think of it as a well-earned drink after a hard day’s work,” he said.

She looked Magnus up and down and leered. “Sure you wouldn’t rather give it to me from the source? Or maybe you’d just like to _give it to me_ ,” she said in a huskier tone.

Magnus’s facetious smile slipped off his face and he gave her a dark look. “Not in a million years, Camille.”

“Actually it’s only been about twenty or thirty years,” she said with a dramatic wink. “Bet your little friends don’t know some of them were probably alive the last time we-“

Magnus laughed incredulously. “You really were high if you don’t remember that I wouldn’t touch you for my life the last time we were together,” he said acerbically. “I helped you straighten up and keep the Shadowhunters from butchering us all, and that’s it. I don’t know who you were fucking, but it wasn’t me,” he stressed. “Hasn’t been me in well over a century, and will never be me again.”

She pouted mockingly. “You said that so many times for so many decades, didn’t you? And what happened? You always end up back in love with me, Magnus Bane, be honest.” She tilted her head. “After the Nephilim, I’m your biggest weakness.”

Raphael cursed, shoving her lightly. “Dios, can you shut up?” He pointed at Magnus. “And you, stop this. She’s getting under your skin like usual. We have business and then I’ll have her out of your hair.”

Magnus grunted unhappily, turning around to grab what he needed. “Camille, it’s really simple. We want the Book of the White and you can have the blood.”

Camille slowly grinned, eyes flickering to the Shadowhunters. “Oh, now I see.” She tilted her head. She tutted at Magnus. “You go back and forth don’t you? One decade you hate helping but do it for the money, another decade you befriend them. Which is it now? I’m assuming the latter, but knowing how much you would like that book, I can’t be sure.”

Magnus huffed out a breath. “Why does it matter to you? I want it, and what I do with it doesn’t concern you.”

“It concerns me when it wasn’t even two full decades ago that the Nephilim were slaughtering us all left and right and now you’re helping them,” she snapped, breaking her character all along. “You were there, you fought with us all. Werewolves and vampires and the seelies, you and your warlock friends helped protect us, and now you side with them-“

“Times have changed,” Magnus said quietly but seriously. “You can’t blame this generation on their parents’ generation’s mistakes.”

Camille huffed. “Even if it’s literally some of their parents?”

Jace stepped forward, pointing at her with his dagger. “You think for a second that I should be held accountable for my father’s actions?” he asked dangerously.

Magnus paled when he saw Camille’s eyes twist and he reached out. “Jace, stop! Camille-“

“Maybe not you, but surely the oldest Lightwood child can be,” she said, and Magnus snapped his fingers to stop Jace’s dagger from making it as far as to hit her.

“That is enough, both of you!” he hissed angrily.

Camille looked between Isabelle and Alec. “Which of you is it again? I think perhaps the boy-“

“Camille!” Magnus said urgently. “Stop. Now.”

Jace looked at Camille then at Alec, who was staring at her fearfully. “What’re you talking about?” he asked her, holding up a hand when Magnus tried to stop him. “We know our parents were Circle members. That doesn’t mean we have any reason to be held responsible for their actions.”

Camille sneered. “The only reason the Lightwood couple were allowed to go free when all the rest of the Circle died or left before the Uprising, the only reason that bitch who murdered as gleefully as Valentine himself went free, is because they were the only ones with a child who needed parents. If she hadn’t had a child, both of the Lightwoods would’ve been imprisoned. Instead they were given the Institute in _my city_.”

Alec looked at Jace then at Isabelle, who both looked horrified. They knew their parents had been in the Circle, but the way Camille spoke…

“Magnus?” Isabelle asked, walking over to Jace’s side. 

Magnus didn’t meet her eyes. “Your mother’s sins are not yours, Isabelle,” he said gently, though he glared at Camille with rage in his eyes.

“Of course not, she was not even conceived-“ Magnus cut Camille off with a snap of his fingers and her voice went silent. 

“Wait,” Jace said suddenly. “When was this?” he asked suddenly. “The Uprising, it was-“

“When I was a baby,” Alec said quietly. He looked at Jace. “You would’ve been a baby, too. The Uprising happened-“ He looked at Isabelle. “Lydia told me Mom and Dad left the Circle before the Uprising. I thought…” He looked at Magnus, who met his eyes and smiled sadly.

“The Clave erased their involvement for the most part, Alec,” he said gently. He shrugged. “And in all honesty, since the Uprising, your parents have ruled fairly. Because of their love for their children, they’ve stuck to the Law. You three ended up pretty well, so they didn’t instill the same hatred in you.” 

Alec looked at Magnus then at Camille. “She said our mother was just as bad as Valentine,” he said and Magnus sighed, ducking his head.

“Alexander, I promise, I will answer any questions you or the others have, but do not let Camille do this. This is how she works,” he stressed. “She gets under your skin and twists your mind away from the present.” He looked at Camille again. “You will give me that book or I will let them have you and Raphael won’t stop me,” he threatened again.

He snapped his fingers and Camille spoke again. “I want something besides your blood,” she said coldly. “I want Nephilim blood,” she said and Raphael’s head snapped up.

“You’re crazy if you think-“

“I know where the book is and you don’t,” she said with finality. She looked at Raphael. “I won’t kill him. I just want to taste him,” she said with a smirk.

Clary stalked forward. “I’ll do it,” she volunteered. “If you want your revenge, have at me,” she said confidently. “I’ll enjoy watching Raphael dragging you away when you try to drink too much of my blood,” she said firmly.

“Not you,” she said, turning to Alec. “Him. Payback for his bitch mother slaughtering my children-“

“You are _not_ laying a finger on him,” Magnus said in a darker, stronger voice than any of them were used to. He stalked closer to her. “I know your tricks. You’ll do something. You always do. And with him being Maryse Lightwood’s son, I know you’ll hurt him.”

Camille looked at him in surprise and then smirked. “Oh. So _that’s_ why you’ve got such a renewed interest in them.” She looked at Alec and hummed. “He is a pretty one, I’ll give you that.”

Magnus stood tall, squaring his shoulders. “Everybody but Raphael, go,” he said calmly.

“What? Are you crazy?” Alec asked, gaping. “We’re not leaving you here without help-“

“Alexander, I am centuries old,” he said calmly. “I promise, Camille won’t be escaping from this room.”

“She doesn’t have to escape the room to get far enough to hurt you,” he argued and Magnus turned to look at him with a disbelieving smile. Alec frowned. “What?”

Magnus just smiled wider. “Nothing,” he said in a gentler tone. He just smiled at Alec for a moment. “I’ll be safe, I promise.”

Alec grunted unhappily, looking over at her. “Just don’t do anything stupid, like Jace would do,” he said, ignoring the indignant sound from Jace. He looked at Magnus more seriously. “Be quick so I know you’re safe?” 

“Of course.”

~

When Magnus let them all back in, Raphael was gone, as was Camille, and the portal was shut. “Was it really a good idea to send Raphael alone with her?” Simon asked and Magnus shrugged.

“He’s probably got your whole clan over there to help, Sylvester, don’t worry about him,” he said, already heading over to pour up a drink. “Alright, who wants to drink until we forget that delight ever graced us with her presence?” he asked and Clary walked over to him.

“Did you get it? The book? Or its location?” she demanded.

Magnus nodded. “The location yes. The actual thing, no.” He turned around. “Raphael will deal with that, assuming she didn’t lie, but there’s nothing to be done tonight but celebrate getting through that alive.” He handed Clary the drink in his hand. “Drink up, Biscuit.”

Jace cleared his throat. “You realize only Alec is old enough to drink,” he pointed out, and Magnus gave him a disbelieving look.

“Do I really look like I’m gonna card, Blondie?” he asked, and Jace gave him an eye roll. “Well if you all aren’t drinking, more for me!” he said, taking the drink back from Clary and downing it in one go.

Alec winced and shuffled closer. “Magnus, maybe go easy?” he suggested in a softer voice and Magnus looked at him with a nearly desperate gleam of hurt in his eyes. Alec held his gaze for a bit then turned around. “Someone get the vampire home before sun up. Talk to Raphael and then report back to Luke at the Institute with any information, since he’s the one with Clary’s mom right now,” he said, and Jace gave him a confused look.

“What about you?” he asked, and Isabelle smirked at Alec while Simon and Clary both exchanged looks then turned to Jace. He frowned. “What?”

Simon snorted. “Dude, why on earth might Alec stay behind at Magnus’s apartment while the rest of us go away?” he hinted and Jace blinked, then looked at Alec and Magnus. Alec gave him a pointed look and Jace glanced at Magnus then seemed to understand.

“Oh. That. Yeah, okay,” he said, slinging an arm around Isabelle as he turned around. “C’mon, Izzy, let’s go see a vampire about a book.”

Clary and Simon left first and Isabelle, being the last one, turned around and winked. “Don’t forget condoms!” she shouted, laughing as Jace yelled ‘ew’ and pulled her through the door before she could say anything else.

Magnus poured himself another drink and then went to the couch, flopping down with a heavy sigh. “Be a dear, Alexander, and turn out some of the lights?” he asked, and Alec watched him as he pulled his legs up onto the couch, tucking his feet under him.

Alec turned the lights down and came back, settling on the coffee table in front of Magnus. “Are you okay?” he asked softly and Magnus lifted his head, meeting his eyes with genuine surprise on his face.

“Am I-“ He huffed a laugh. “That’s what you ask? After everything that- I know you must have so many things you want to say or know, so I’m just surprised-“

Alec smiled sadly. “You have had a really hard day, Magnus.”

Magnus tilted his head in confusion. “But what Camille said-“

“Can wait,” Alec said simply. “I- I want to know,” he said hesitatingly. “About my mom. About… all of that.” He shook his head. “But even I’m not selfish enough to ask you to talk about it right now.”

Magnus snorted, leaning back into the corner of the couch, giving Alec a long look. “You, Alexander, are the least selfish person I’ve ever met,” he countered. 

Alec ducked his head. “Well I did sort of ruin a widows only real Shadowhunter wedding because I wanted to break some really big rules without regard for any consequences besides ‘I don’t wanna’, as my brother would say.”

Magnus grinned, sipping his drink. “You know, I remember something like that happening,” he said and Alec blushed as he smiled at him. Magnus groaned, shaking his head. “God, you must regret that one already, huh?” he dramatically slumped down against the back of the couch, pouting some. “We haven’t even gone on a first date and you already have to hear about my terrible dating history and my evil ex-girlfriend taunting everybody.”

Alec shook his head. “Everything about Camille is a shock to me, but it’s not your fault she’s psychotic and you happened to date her.” He crossed his arms, leaning his elbows on his knees. “Yesterday I was a gay man who was going to marry a woman to try and do ‘the right thing’ that I didn’t even believe in, and you didn’t give up. Why would I let a poorly timed run-in with a crazy ex interfere with us?”

Magnus looked up at him with an odd vulnerability that Alec was shocked to see on Magnus’s face. “There’s an ‘us’?” he asked and Alec hunched his shoulders, brow furrowing.

“I would- there- I want there to be,” he stuttered. “I sort of thought-“

Magnus moved fluidly, sitting up straight and shuffling until his knees touched Alec’s, reaching gently laying his hand on Alec’s wrist. “Oh Alexander, you precious potato,” he sighed, smiling at him with wonder in his eyes. “I want that, too,” he reassured. “I just wasn’t sure you would have still not rethought things after Camille.”

“Of course not,” Alec argued. “I may be inexperienced with the whole dating thing but I’m not entirely ignorant of the world outside the Institute,” he stressed. “You’ve been alive for centuries, you’re bound to have dated more than one someone that is immortal and probably more than just one someone who is crazy. Camille just happens to be both,” he said. He hesitated. “Actually I was a little surprised at her being a women, but that’s just because I’ve never seen you looking at one. It doesn’t matter or anything.”

Magnus grinned, holding Alec’s gaze. “To be fair, any time I’ve been around you, I haven’t much had any desire to look anywhere else.” Alec blushed and rolled his eyes, but smiled bashfully as he turned his arm over and let Magnus’s hand settle into his. Magnus shook his head in amazement. “You’re something else, Alexander Lightwood.” He squeezed his hand gently.

“Besides,” Alec said, looking up at him more seriously. “It was obvious that Camille didn’t just embarrass you. She upset you. I wouldn’t upset you even more.”

Magnus’s smile turned sad and he nodded. “Camille is a long story for another time, I think, but she just-“ He hesitated, shaking his head as he looked away. “The same thing that happens for me all the time happened with her. I saw her and was attached so fast. Only unlike everybody else I’ve ever cared for, she has no heart, no _soul_ , and she’s immortal so she has had a very long time to work out exactly what things to say and do to hurt me.”

“I could tell,” Alec said gently. “I hate that she was the one we had to deal with.”

Magnus shook his head. “You said it, Alexander. It’s been a very, very long couple of days. Camille was just the icing on the stressful cake.”

Alec squeezed his hand. “I heard from Jace that Ragnor Fell was your friend. I’m really sorry, Magnus.”

Magnus looked up with a gentle look. “Ragnor was my oldest friend.” He smiled a bit damply. “After Camille was finished with me, he hated her guts, and to have to deal with her the same day as losing him…” He reached up with his free hand and hesitated, relieved when Alec leaned his cheek against Magnus’s hand so he didn’t have any doubts that Alec wanted his touch. “A day with so much pain was greatly tempered by you giving me something to hope for.”

Alec nodded, stubble from going so long without shaving rasping on Magnus’s palm. “I know having a Nephilim that’s practically a kid kiss you in front of a crowd of them probably isn’t _that_ much of an upside to a really bad day, but I made you smile so I count it as a win.”

Magnus shook his head incredulously. “Oh Alexander. You should never downplay how happy you make me. Trust me,” he said in a secretive tone. “For every smile you see, there’s an even bigger one when you’re not looking and I’m just staring at you like an idiot,” he confided.

Alec rolled his eyes, giving his own big, dumb smile. “Alright, I get it, you sorta like me.” Magnus chuckled and Alec looked at him again, his eyes more serious. “I sorta like you, too, so it’s a good match.” Magnus was so tempted to kiss Alec on his ridiculous face, but before he could, Alec stood up, tugging Magnus up with him. “C’mon. It’s really late and you have done a lot of magic today,” he said. “You should rest. I’ve been up more than twenty-four hours, so there’s no telling how long you’ve been up.” He turned around, hands on his hips as he looked around the room. 

“Alec-“

“Don’t worry,” Alec said, gesturing around the room. “I’ll clean everything up before I go,” he said, and Magnus just sighed.

“I have magic for that-“

Alec grabbed the hand he raised before he could snap his fingers. “That you are not going to use,” he said, giving him a look. “Rest, Magnus.”

Magnus nodded reluctantly, but held onto Alec’s hand when Alec tried to step away. “Hey Alexander?” he asked and Alec turned to look at him, surprised by the vulnerability in his tone. Magnus gave him a nearly pleading look. “Will- will you stay?” He waved his free hand. “I don’t mean like ‘stay the night’, I just…” He sighed, blushing some. “I don’t want to be alone,” he admitted.

Alec looked at him for a long moment and then nodded. “Of course, Magnus. Whenever you need me,” he added absently and Magnus smiled, sighing playfully.

“Careful there, Alexander. You say things like that and I might just keep you,” he teased and Alec just shrugged.

“Can’t say I’d complain too much,” he said and Magnus snorted, shaking his head.

“You, Darling, are going to be the death of me,” he said as he reluctantly let go of Alec so he could go get ready for bed while Alec did as he said and cleared up behind them.

~

When Magnus woke up, he grumbled against the light shining in his eyes, turning his face into the warm pillow under his cheek. It was only when the pillow moved that he opened his eyes. He lifted his head, only to blink when he saw that the light had been Alec’s phone right beside his face…which was laying on Alec’s chest. Alec glanced down at him and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, did I wake you?” he asked, voice rumbling in his chest under Magnus’s cheek.

Magnus hummed, curling further into Alec’s side. “Mmmm it’s fine. How long did I sleep?” he asked. He looked down at Alec’s long legs stretched out across the covers as he sat more propped up against the head of the bed than lying. Magnus wondered if Alec had slept at all since he hadn’t changed out of his jeans and wasn’t under the covers. “Did you sleep at all?” Magnus asked sleepily.

Alec nodded. “Some. Hard to sleep,” he said, putting his phone down on his lap to rub at his face. “A lot on my mind.”

Magnus grinned up at him. “And yet you let me sprawl all over you anyways? Such a gentleman,” he teased and Alec huffed out a breath and smiled bashfully.

“Well, I have to say, this isn’t exactly how I imagined the first time I spent the night in your bed would go,” he said and Magnus scrunched his nose, snuggling further into Alec’s side.

“I dunno, It’s pretty much spot on for what I’d imagined,” he said and Alec raised an eyebrow. Magnus grinned. “What? Did you expect me to try and drag you into my bed and have my way with you straight off the bat?”

Alec blushed. “Well, no, but I didn’t really expect to sleep over before- you know.”

“Aww but just sleeping is the best,” Magnus said, and Alec gave him a flat look. Magnus wiggled his eyebrows. “Hey you can do all the naked fun stuff earlier in the day and still just sleep over,” he teased. He sat up some, moving until he could lay his head on Alec’s shoulder and wrap his arms around his middle, cuddling into his side. “You know by now I don’t just want to sleep with you. You make me feel all those amazing warm and fuzzy things. I always figured I’d get to spend a night with you before we ever got around to sex. Especially since we’re supposed to be taking things slow,” he said, and Alec chuckled, curling his arm righter around Magnus’s shoulders.

“I’m not sure if it’s easier or harder to take things slow when we’re working together to try and save the world,” Alec joked and Magnus hummed.

“Intense situations tend to lead to heightened romantic tensions, but being busy sort of makes doing anything about it difficult, so it’s a toss-up,” Magnus agreed. He closed his eyes. “Can we just agree at least to _not_ jump into bed together? It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”

Alec laughed and squeezed him tighter. “You really overestimate my confidence if you think there’s the slightest chance I’m going to be the one to jump you, Magnus. If you didn’t notice, you were sort of my first kiss, and I panicked like crazy just doing that.”

“I suspected,” Magnus said, peeking open his eyes to look up at him. “You kinda just smashed your face into mine at first. It was adorable.”

Alec blushed and rolled his eyes as he smiled. “Shut it,” he said and Magnus sat up, reaching up to touch Alec’s face. “Don’t tease.”

“But you’re so cute when you blush,” Magnus said, unable to look away from Alec’s adorable smile. “It’s such a shame you’ve never embraced how beautiful you are, you know,” he said softly. “I’ve lived a long time, but I don’t know if I’ve ever seen someone as beautiful.”

Alec shook his head. “It’s just weird,” he said, not even bothering to be bashful. “You really don’t know, but it wasn’t just lack of confidence when I talk about how nobody ever looks at me when Jace is around. Jace and Izzy are the ones that people stare at when we aren’t glamoured. Even when we are, around the institute, all the random Shadowhunters coming and going look at them but never at me.”

“Then they’re fucking blind,” Magnus said seriously. Alec raised an eyebrow at Magnus swearing and Magnus shrugged it off. “I don’t know what to say, Alec, because Jace isn’t even all that cute,” he said bluntly. “I mean, he’s all muscly and the eye thing is really beautiful, but he’s alright,” he said with a shrug. “And Isabelle is beautiful, sure, no denying that, but she has a different kind of beauty.” Magnus shrugged as if considering it. “She’s actually a lot like me, all flash and confidence. She’d still be beautiful if she was plain, but she wouldn’t stand out as much. You, however, you stand out even without all the flirting and flashy clothes,” he said. He leaned back against the headboard beside Alec. “I was drawn to you before I even saw your face, because you have this… power,” he said, trying to find the words. “You exude this strength and command attention without even trying.” He smiled. “And then you looked at me after you lowered your bow and wow. So beautiful,” Magnus said, looking over Alec’s face. “Your eyes are captivating. They’re so intense and so open. And pretty light eyes with dark hair and pale skin is sort of my usual type, so that helps,” he teased. “Usually I go for blue eyes, but it’s still close.”

Alec grinned. “You have a ‘type’?” he asked, and Magnus nodded.

“It’s not concrete of anything, but it’s more of a trend, I’d say.” 

Alec tapped his fingers against Magnus’s side, humming. “I don’t have any trend or type. I mean, just because I was so repressed doesn’t mean I never caught myself looking. Pretty much ‘attractive guy’ is my type, but I guess that’s not that shocking since I tried not to be attracted to anybody.” He looked at Magnus and smiled. “Your eyes are what got me,” Alec admitted and Magnus preened. “I know they’re a glamour, but they’re so honest,” he said and Magnus’s face softened into a genuine smile. “I met your eyes and wow. I just wanted to know you and it was so sudden and it made me so embarrassed,” Alec added with a laugh.

“Oh I remember, you stutter when you’re embarrassed and shy,” Magnus teased. “How do you know they’re a glamour? I generally hide my real eyes anytime someone who isn’t a Downworlder is around, even at the club.”

Alec shook his head. “I haven’t seen it, I just knew that your Warlock mark is your eyes being like cat eyes.”

Magnus rolled his eyes. “You Shadowhunters and your database of everything,” he said with a huff. “Not just my eyes,” he said, and Alec gave him a surprised look. “No navel.”

Alec blinked. “Huh. That’s… different.”

Magnus nodded. “Makes going swimming such a pain. Eyes are easy to glamour, you just change the color, like I do my hair. That involves something three dimensional.” He looked at him curiously. “Does it freak you out?” he asked and Alec snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, because no belly button is where I draw the line, not all the other things that are really weird in my life right now,” he teased.

Magnus grinned. “Good to know.” He sat up straight, stretching his arms over his head with a yawn. “Well, not that I wouldn’t love to snuggle up with you all day, but I would _love_ time to actually shower and eat something before the next catastrophe breaks out.”

Alec nodded, picking up his phone with one hand as he let the other trail down Magnus’s back. “You go get a shower and I’ll take care of breakfast?” he offered and Magnus stood up _on the bed_ walking over to the edge to hop off as if that was totally normal. 

“Sounds excellent. The takeout menus for every single place within a reasonable distance are in the drawer beside the refrigerator,” he said, heading across his room to what Alec assumed to be a bathroom. “I may be a while, but feel free to snoop through my bookcase or something if you get bored,” he offered and Alec rolled his eyes as he shut the door but got out of bed with a smile. 

He finished off his text to Izzy and then put his phone in his pocket, heading out to see about breakfast.

~

When Magnus got out of the shower, one that was long and luxurious, he expected to find Alec waiting on the couch awkwardly, too shy to actually snoop in the bookcase, so he was surprised to hear movement in the kitchen. He walked over to the kitchen and blinked when he saw the last thing he _ever_ expected.

“Alexander, what on earth are you doing?”

Alec looked up, nearly dropping the spatula in his hand only to crouch and catch it, what with his crazy reflexes. “What?” he asked, turning back to stir the contents of the pan again. “You said I could take care of breakfast.”

“I expected you would order takeout,” Magnus said, walking over. “Where did you even get eggs?” he asked.

Alec raised an eyebrow. “There’s a store right down the street. Not even a whole block away.”

“Shadowhunters carry money?” Magnus asked in surprise and Alec gave him a funny look.

“Yes, we have stuff, so we have to have money.” He smiled. “You act like nobody’s ever cooked for you before.”

Magnus leaned on the counter beside him with a bright, happy smile. “I’m sure sometime someone has, maybe even someone who was more than a friend, but definitely never a Shadowhunter who has only known me a short while and likes me in a more-than-friends way.”

Alec chuckled. “Well don’t get too excited. I’m not the best cook, but when it’s just us, the only one willing to cook besides me is Isabelle…” He trailed off then shuddered. “Never eat anything she cooks. Ever. Just don’t. I don’t know if that will ever come up but if it does, say no,” he said seriously. He stirred the eggs a few more times then pulled the pan off the burner, going over to the plates he’d sat out to dump the eggs on them. “Sorry if you don’t take your eggs scrambled, because that’s all I know how to cook,” he added with a shrug. He nodded over behind him to the other counter. “There’s toast, too. I didn’t know how you ate it so I bought a few things.”

Magnus slid off the counter and walked over to pick up the jars of jam and jelly of many flavors then shook his head with a delighted look as he turned back to Alec, holding up grape jelly in one hand and blackberry jam in the other. “You _cooked_ me breakfast and got _options_ in case I didn’t like something.” He leaned back against the cabinets. “Seriously, Alexander, I cannot stress enough how rare it is for someone to not just assume I’d do everything with magic.” He added quickly, “And rightly so, I mean, it’s not like my friends and lovers never cared enough or anything, they just knew that anything we wanted, I could get with my magic or money, so why bother unless I asked them to?”

Alec shrugged bashfully. “I guess I’m just used to taking care of people. Not that making you breakfast means I’m taking care of you or anything,” he babbled. “I just- it- it was faster than ordering takeout.” He blushed. “Seriously, it’s just eggs and toast.” He put a fork on one of the plates then held it out to Magnus. “Here, just- yeah.”

Magnus put down the jars and took the plate he offered. “Thank you, Alexander,” he said earnestly. He turned around and grabbed a few pieces of toast, stepping aside to let Alec get some, too. They both took turns fixing their toast how they wanted it and Magnus turned around just in time to take the glass of juice Alec held out, still looking at his own plate rather than watching to see if Magnus would take it. “Well look at you,” Magnus said, taking the glass as well. He walked out to the coffee table – since he didn’t actually own a dining table – and sat on the floor between the couch and the table with his food.

When Alec joined him, choosing to sit on the sofa rather than the floor – damn his longer reach, Magnus thought absently – Magnus leaned back some, watching Alec eat as he ate his toast. He could tell Alec could feel him watching, since his ears were turning red, but he didn’t say anything. After a few minutes, Magnus shook his head, fighting the fluttering in his belly, and tucked into his own breakfast more insistently. 

After breakfast, Magnus went to go call Raphael, and when he returned, he found Alec in the kitchen doing the dishes. “Oh honestly,” he said, walking over. He snapped his fingers and Alec blinked when he found himself with his hands in an empty sink with the dishes in the drying rack all on their own. “Darling, I adore that you are such a domestic wonder, but I really can’t let you show me up in my own home,” he joked.

Alec grinned. “Sorry. I’m just used to keeping everything in order. I’ll try to ease up.”

Magnus dismissed it with a wave of his hand. “No worries. And hey, at least you weren’t taking my own dishes out back to break them,” he said absently, turning to head back to the living room.

“Wait, _what_?” Alec asked, sounding confused, and Magnus stopped, wincing when he realized what he’d said. He turned around and Alec walked into the living room with a confused and slightly concerned look. “Why would I break your dishes? That’s… very odd.”

Magnus hesitated, not wanting to ruin the light mood of the morning, but he realized it might be a good way to go ahead and get Alec’s questions out of the way while they waited on the others to get up and on with the day so they could reconvene. Magnus sighed and walked over to the couch, patting the seat beside him. Alec took his hint and walked over, sitting without hesitation. Magnus cleared his throat. “That was a really bad joke to make, and I know you would _never_ , but it’s… a reference to something the Shadowhunters in Europe did once.” He cringed. “It was a while ago, but some Shadowhunters I dealt with regularly called a meeting with leaders in the Downworld to try and establish some agreements. Dinner was served and, after all the dishes were eaten off of by Downworlders, they took them all outside and shattered them, since they were tainted.”

Alec looked horrified, which didn’t really surprise Magnus, knowing Alec the way he did, but was comforting all the same. “Oh my God that’s- that’s-“ He opened and closed his mouth a few times. “By the _Angel_ , I’m so glad whatever went wrong with mine and Izzy’s childhood to make us not be like that went wrong.” He leaned back against the couch, shoulders slumping. “I just- I don’t understand,” he said seriously. “My parents didn’t really raise us as much as our trainers, but… if they were in the Circle, if they were so prejudiced against all Downworlders, not just demons and Downworlders gone rogue, how did Izzy and I get away without having these same thoughts drilled into us?” He looked up at Magnus. “I’ve never hated Downworlders. I’ve never thought all Downworlders were beneath us or anything. I just- I just always thought, like we learned, that as long as they follow the Law, they’ve got the right to live life however they choose to. I’ve always understood my job is to protect the Mundane world and that’s it. I never got taught anything else, so it’s not like I just overcame something.” He rubbed at his temples. “I just don’t _get it_.”

“Which is one of the reasons I genuinely think that your parents have tried to change,” Magnus said gently. “You and Isabelle and Jace, from what I know of you in the past, have done well to not ever mistreat Downworlders. You may inadvertently express your superiority over us, but the New York Institute has for years been just and fair. It may not be the same as treating us as equals, but your Institute has not been itching for a reason to kill Downworlders at least.”

Alec looked at him closely. “You’re trying to soften a blow, or else you wouldn’t be praising the woman that was more upset that the person I broke off my wedding for was a Downworlder than the fact he was a man in a culture that pretends gay people don’t exist,” he accused and Magnus momentarily cursed how clever Alec was. “Just- just tell me,” he urged. “It’s about what Camille said. I know they were in the Circle, but what did she mean by- by me being the only reason my parents escaped punishment more severe?”

Magnus took a deep breath and turned to fully face Alec. If he was going to do this, he was going to respect Alec and be honest with him, no matter how painful. He held his gaze and reached out to offer Alec his hand. Alec took it hesitantly and Magnus spoke. “Your mother and father threw down their weapons rather than fight to the death. They and Hodge were the only ones to do so out of the entire Circle. Everybody else died either at the hands of the Downworlders they wanted to slaughter or at the hands of the Clave when they stopped that slaughter. They submitted because they didn’t want their child to be orphaned. Not because they didn’t fully believe in what they were doing,” he said gently.

Alec nodded tensely. “And- and the thing about my mom being just as bad as Valentine?” he asked.

Magnus cringed, but nodded. “I didn’t know them personally but… the way it appeared to most, is that Robert only followed Valentine because Maryse did. She really did believe that Downworlders should all pay for the crimes of their species.”

“That would explain why Dad isn’t as upset with me,” Alec muttered. He looked up. “Luke was in the Circle, right? How- how did that even work out? I know it was before he was turned, but he’s such a good guy, from what I get. How was he ever like that?”

Magnus tilted his head. “You have to remember that Valentine and Luke were parabatai. You would follow Jace even if you didn’t believe he was totally right, wouldn’t you? Tell yourself whatever you have to to convince yourself that he isn’t really a monster, that he’s still a good man deep down?”

Alec hesitated. “A few weeks ago, I would say yes, but… when it came to this, to Valentine, to Clary…” He shook his head. “You know what I did, don’t you? I nearly broke our bond. He wouldn’t follow the Law so I cut him off. And Jace, he did what he thought was right, too.”

“But you both are on the same side, now,” Magnus said. “The point is, Luke had to put his faith in his parabatai. And Valentine was a very charismatic man. And, apart from you, I’ve only known a few generations of Shadowhunters who ever managed to not believe that Downworlders were all just a few raised tempers away from breaking the Accords anyways.”

Alec sighed. “Did she do what Camille said? Did my mom kill innocent people?”

Magnus didn’t want to answer, but he had to. “Yes, Alexander.” Alec sucked in a breath and Magnus decided to get it all out. “And not just Downworlders.”

Alec’s head snapped up, eyes wide in horror. “My parents- they- what?” he asked roughly. 

“Do you know who ran the Institute here before your family?” Magnus asked carefully. “It was abandoned for a while before your parents and Hodge were sentenced to come here.”

Alec turned positively green, shaking his head rapidly. “No. The- they were- that family- there were werewolves-“

“Innocent werewolves targeted by Valentine,” Magnus said hoarsely. It hurt him to remember that night, and it hurt just as badly to see Alec in pain. “The only person there who had a shred of sanity left by the time I got there was Luke. A little werewolf boy showed up at my house then and begged me to go help his family and when I got there, a mother and her children were all huddled on the floor while the Circle baited them. I had told the boy to contact the Institute to get help, and to this day, I regret that.” He shuddered. “I don’t regret saving the werewolves I could save, even if Valentine had already tortured a little girl to blindness, but I could’ve did something without the Whitelaws…” He sighed. 

“My mother, did my mother-“

“Both of them,” Magnus answered, squeezing Alec’s hand as he shook. “The Whitelaws got between me and the werewolves and the Circle. Luke was the only one who tried to stop it all. The little girl Valentine blinded, he carried her away while I fought Valentine.” He shook his head. “The youngest Whitelaw girl, she tried to attack your mother and your father killed her. As soon as Rachel Whitelaw was dead that was it. Game over. The whole family fought to the death. Every one of them.” He scoffed. “I tried to save one of them, after it was all over, but he told me he would rather die. I don’t know if it was his family dead or the thought of a warlock saving him, but…” he trailed off. “There was nobody but a few warlocks and some werewolves who able to even try to say who killed the Whitelaws, and since the Circle had already spread the world werewolves did it, to this day that is the official word.”

Alec looked up, a cold look in his eyes. “But if you knew all this time, why haven’t you tried again? I know the Clave has grown to respect you more over the years.”

Magnus shook his head. “It wouldn’t be worth anything. What good is it to condemn a couple that have genuinely changed? You are proof, Alec. If they still genuinely believed the same things they did then, you would’ve been raised differently. They would’ve made sure of it. Punishment wouldn’t undo something that happened decades ago, and they clearly learned their lesson without it.” 

Alec sniffed suddenly, releasing Magnus’s hand to furiously scrub at his eyes before any tears could fall. “How could- how have they ever judged us? How could they justify treating Isabelle like she’s done something shameful for sleeping with Seelies or Jace for being a show-off. How dare they act like _kissing you_ in front of members of the Clave has ruined the family name when they _murdered innocent people_ and helped _torture children_?! Even if they changed, how could they just forget that? The way Shadowhunters are made me spend the past eight years of my life ashamed of myself in secret for not even something I’d done but something I couldn’t make myself into, and they don’t even feel lingering shame and guilt over that?!”

Magnus could see Alec’s desperate shifting and he immediately closed the gap between them and just hugged him. He curled his arms around Alec’s shoulders, laying his cheek against Alec’s shirt. Alec twisted and grabbed onto him, clinging to him tightly. “Alexander, I’m not defending them, I’m never going to defend anybody who ever made you afraid of yourself or ever hurt you in any way.” He stroked his hair gently. “But I didn’t tell you the truth so you could hate your parents. I told you because you deserve to know the truth. You’re a better man than any of them. You are an _amazing_ person,” he stressed. “But people change. It does happen. It may not seem like it, and God knows I would’ve never thought twenty years ago that I’d ever look Robert Lightwood in the face and not want to rip him apart, but hating someone who has the potential to be better is not the answer.”

Alec sniffled against Magnus’s neck, hugging him close, his hands fisted in the back of Magnus’s shirt. “I’m just so- so angry. I hurt so much for so long because of how I was born for fear of being stripped of my Marks, and Izzy almost got stripped of her Marks for _nothing_ really, but they- they got away with _murder_. How does that happen? How is being good and fair get punishment when cruelty doesn’t?”

“The world is horrible,” Magnus answered gently, soothing Alec with strokes of his back. “But there is just enough beauty and love in this world to make up for the horrible things.” He pulled back, cupping Alec’s face in his hands. “If your parents had been punished then, there would be no Isabelle or Max now. Jace wouldn’t be your brother or your parabatai. What your parents did before was horrible, but they also contributed two incredible Shadowhunters, an adorable child, and fostered an admittedly not that actually terrible thorn in my side to the world,” he said and Alec laughed wetly. 

“Jace would swoon if he heard such a grand compliment,” he muttered. He let out a heavy sigh. “You’re right,” he agreed softly. “I’d rather have Izzy and Max and Jace than anything else so- so I see your point.” He shook his head. “But it’s still not right. What makes my life better doesn’t erase right and wrong.”

“I know it doesn’t,” Magnus said. “And all the good I ever do will never erase the Evil I was born from,” he said and Alec looked at him with pained eyes. “But if you don’t focus on the good things, the beautiful things, then you’ll never stop finding darkness and pain.”

Alec looked from one of Magnus’s eyes to the other with something like wonder in his eyes and it was only then that Magnus realized his control had slipped. “Your eyes are beautiful,” Alec whispered. He leaned closer and Magnus stopped breathing. “I know we said slow, but I really, _really_ wanna kiss you.”

Magnus let out a stuttered chuckle. “Well, maybe just a small o- mmmm.” Magnus sighed deeply as Alec’s gentle kiss brushed his lips. Alec’s touch was light and his kiss was sweet. Magnus had never felt more beautiful than he did when Alec kissed him like he was something precious. When the kiss slowed to a few chaste pecks, both of them reluctant to actually draw away, Alec giggled - _giggled_ \- between Magnus pressing little kisses to the side of his mouth. “What?” Magnus asked, pressing his lips back to Alec’s just once more.

“I just never thought-“ Magnus kissed him another time and Alec laughed, finally pulling away, which made Magnus pout playfully. “I never thought the first time I cried in front of someone that isn’t Izzy or my parents would end in me kissing someone because they’re sweet and their eyes are pretty.”

Magnus gave him a stern look. “If you say that’s the first time you’ve cried – and that was barely crying – in years, I’m going to throw something,” he said, and Alec rolled his eyes at Magnus’s dramatics.

“Shadowhunters don’t cry over petty things. I haven’t seen Izzy cry since she was about ten. I’ve never seen Jace cry. Max doesn’t even cry and he hasn’t even started training yet,” Alec reminded him. “Warriors always.”

Magnus shrugged, hooking his arms over back of the couch and crossing his legs. “Well, Alexander, you better get used to the fact that the rest of us watch sappy movies and cry over happy endings. Normal people cry. You are just weird.”

Alec laughed, ducking his head. “I haven’t seen but two or three movies in my lifetime, so maybe I’m just missing the point?”

“Oh you poor, repressed thing,” Magnus groaned, clutching at his chest dramatically as he fell into Alec’s side. “Darling, I’m going to open your eyes to so many things it’ll make your head spin.” 

Alec blinked and then blushed furiously, looking away. “That, uh, that came out sort of wrong.”

Magnus winked when Alec glanced back at him. “Well, maybe one day, Alexander, but we’ll just start with introducing you to Mundane fiction and work up to _those_ kind of eye-openers,” he teased and Alec laughed, shaking his head as he rubbed at his pink cheeks. “Maybe our second date can be going to a movie,” Magnus suggested.

Alec gave him a shy smile. “Gotta get through a first date before a second, Magnus.”

“Yup, which is a great reason to get to the Institute to try and get this damn book so we have some time off to go out,” Magnus said, patting Alec’s knee before standing up. “C’mon. The sooner we get to work, the sooner we can put a time and place on that date.”

Alec held his gaze, nodding. “I really like this idea.”

“Well I’m full of good ones, so there’s hope for us yet,” Magnus teased, heading off to his room to get ready. He stopped at the doorway and spared a glance back to Alec, unable to stop the _fluttering_ in his belly at the sight of the shy but excited little grin on Alec’s lips.

 _This man_ , Magnus thought, _might just end up being the best thing that’s ever happened to me._


End file.
